Our Journey To Parenthood

I guess I owe myself and you an explanation on why I haven’t blogged in…well a while.  There’s a few things that took drastic changes in our life, and although I am not going to blurt it all out on here, my marriage is between me and hubby, not me and the world, but all I can say, is that this TTC journey is HARD and it can make or break a relationship, thank God that we are both stubborn enough to push through this and adamant that we will come out stronger on the other side of this trying journey.  And yes, there might be even more tougher times ahead for us, but I know that we will be ok.

Work wise, things have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride, there is stories that we either going to be moving to Pretoria or that head office might close completely, so ja, it’s been hectic stress of job things, people are resigning and unhappy and others love to gossip and get everyone’s nerves up even more, I have decided to try and not stress about this any longer as it is not good for my health and well life for that matter, if we happen to move, we will work something out, if we close, well, we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Family, well there is where I still seriously need to make the line bigger and not allow anyone to cross it.  My family, yes, nothing’s changed, let’s just say that the sheep clothes have gotten even nicer, and the wolves even more bad, but nouja, I will not allow for them to run my life for me any longer, and yes, they might get even more nasty, but so be it.  A few weeks ago something happened which just snapped a few strings in me with them, and ja, that is not something that will get fixed soon, if I now try or not, they are pushed to the background where they belong and although at times it might still hurt, I’ve had enough of them hurting me and treating me like crap, they have ruined my life up until now, I will not allow this to go any further.

In laws, FIL has been sitting without a “job” since February, so yes, we are stressing and I am looking for jobs for him, but there as well, they’re “non-planning” is not my/our problem, we will help where we can, just like with my family, but getting into debt for any family is just not on. 

Good news there is, SIL got engaged on Saturday, I still do not know what to make of her fiancé, but there again, it is not my place to say how I really feel about him, so I’ll take my nose out of their business and not interfere, I just hope that he makes her truly happy, she’s been hurt enough in her life.

MIL is still adamant in telling us how to make babies, I swear if she could tell us which position to use she would, although I must count those words, as I’ve said before that she might tell us when, and on Sunday she actually told us that “Dr. Oz” says that you must do it at 7 in the morning. 

JA…I have no words left. 

We went to a buffet on Sunday with the in-laws, to celebrate SIL’s birthday as well as their engagement, and me and hubby got sick, did I mention before that I HATE buffets (everyone’s spitty breaths and grubby hands in the food)?! 

Anyoldhow, after that, we went to see some houses that her fiancé wanted to go see, it was awkward having so many people look at a house, but ja, really nothing WOW.  There was one place where the cat’s poop box was in the one room, dirty and all, I was totally grossed out.  We also have a cat, but we clean his poop box every single day, not the most wonderful task to do, but it is much more hygienic.  Anyways, to say I was grossed out is an understatement.

Needless to say, the buffet made us sick, man down for 2 days, I slept so much these 2 days that I’m wondering if I’m going to sleep for the rest of the week. 

Sleep is not on my top priority list of importance of late, so my mind wanders to other areas of life when I’m supposed to sleep.  My blood pressure has also been acting up, and I feel on a constant “trip” of dizziness, it’s no fun, but I pretend that I had lots of happy juice

CA (thanks Helen) is not talking to me, she hates is when I’m on leave, she has to work a bit you see, ag I really cannot be bothered right now about it….

Minkerdoodle went to visit his sister this weekend, I had to laugh at myself, Friday night after SIL picked him up, I cried, “don’t you dare laugh”   I actually said something on FB that the babies must come now   Hubby was working their month end and I just felt so totally alone and empty.  MIL gave me a BIG speech on Sunday about how her grandchildren MUST visit her on a weekend, (sleeping over) after I said that I cannot leave Minx there by SIL another night.  Thank goodness we were still at the buffet, so I just walked off.

I’m sure there is plenty more things that I wanted to tell you, but now I forgot.  Got side tracked again…will update soon…

Well that is my sugar coated-watered down version of a few things that’s been going on, maybe one day I can reveal all, but for now, this is all I can open up about