The journey progresses...

Tooth number two also made it’s appearance. Just peeked inside Caleb’s little mouth to check tooth 1 and lo and behold, there be tooth number 2, under the surface. No wonder he didn’t want to drink last night, he was screaming and fighting the breast instead of drinking and I couldn’t understand why. I thought that the one tooth had to be out first before the next one came. Guess not. So now I know, next time he doesn’t want to drink, it’s because there’s a tooth in the making.

Went clothes shopping for Caleb. Ackermans, Pep and Jet all frustrated the hell out of me. For department stores like that, their stock is horribly limited, and the racks so deurmekaar that I got a headache just searching for something I like. So I headed to Edgars. And I was like a kid in a candy store. Took my pick carefully, taking into account that the child is going to freeze in only long baby grows and that he needs tracksuits as well.

When I got to the counter (after having done some maths in my head and feeling relatively happy about the R500-something I calculated), the lady rung up the clothes and told me R800. I gasped out loud rather rudely but was in such shock that I just handed over Hubby’s card and paid. He sms’ed me shortly after asking what the hell did I buy and if the clothes are made out of gold? I told him I’m so sorry, I’ll go return some of it tomorrow. Never mind the fact that I spent the last of my own money to buy a big can of S26, a spoon set for Caleb, breastpads for me and a present for Manager Lady’s stork tea tomorrow morning. That was also R413.00. People weren’t kidding when they said having a baby is horribly expensive. Still, I’d trade it for nothing and I’d spend all of my money on my child, if I could.

Well, I’m off to feed the little monster Have a great weekend, y’all!

Cheerio

Tourmaline

So tomorrow I have a day off. I was going to go to SARS to submit my old returns, but by a happy mistake I actually got my eFiling up and running today, and everything is submitted.

So tomorrow, I’m going to do the following:

• Going to Baby City to buy S26 and a proper little spoon for Caleb to eat with.
• Going to buy some clothes for Caleb – it’s getting chillier in the mornings and we don’t have proper winter clothes for him.

His second helping of rice cereal last night went a little better. Got some more into his mouth which ultimately led to him sleeping until 4:10 this morning. He had three dirty nappies today at creche and is just generally a happy baby. His little tooth is coming on well, there’s a jagged little edge that actually hurts when he bites. He’s studying my hands when I hold them up to his face and just learned that he has a voice. He squeals, giggles and imitates sounds.

I’m kind of sad that he’s teething already, even though the other bigger part of me is ecstatic. It means I can’t breastfeed him until 8 months – I’m not going to take the chance that he’s going to use my breasts as teething rings.

I loved the rain this morning, it was bucketing down and music to my ears. Sadly it stopped soon after it became light.

And perhaps the best news of all… my stomach cramps just magically disappeared. They’re gone. Halleluja!! I was able to eat today without doubling over in agony and I had a great day!

Enjoy your weekend, thanks for reading and thanks for all your love and support!

Cheerio

Tourmaline

Today, exactly a year ago, our journey and my blog started.

Today, a year ago I was sitting on the couch, with a brandy and coke and a menthol cigarette in my hand, staring dubiously at the pregnancy test lying on the couch next to me. I sat cross-legged, my brain and heart warring with each other. My heart said “you’re pregnant” and my brain said “no you’re not”. A bit later, Hubby came in. He told me to stop torturing myself (in an exasperating tone) and to just go do it.

At 18:00, we were staring at each other in shock as the second line appeared. At 18:45 exactly, we screeched to a stop at the pharmacy to buy another test.

At 05:10 the next morning, the second test immediately turned positive. And at 13:52, I got the official confirmation from the doctor’s office.

And our journey started.

I remember once we got over the initial shock, how waves of depression and negativity crashed down on me. And I was at war with myself. I’d wanted this for so long, how could I feel like this? I dealth with reality after reality as it crashed down on me, crying in the bath and refusing to open the pregnancy book be bought on the 29th of March. I didn’t want to touch it. And three weeks passed. I didn’t feel pregnant. I just felt tired. Until the nausea started. I remember my first experience with the nausea. How I immediately phoned my MIL and arranged for a vitamin B12 shot. Which I got for the next 9 weeks. I remember the nausea caused by taking Omega 3 too soon. I remember the fatigue. I remember how the moods snuck up on me, and surprising Hubby unpleasantly. I remember him going silent, and myself going hormonal.

Basically, the whole first trimester was a nightmare for me.

Then the second trimester started and the magic started to change me. I remember the first movement, like a little butterfly inside my belly. I remember suddenly staring at my belly at 13 weeks, noticing the very small bump that was starting to protrude. I remember the gender-sonar. Best day of my life, finding out that this little thing that was making me feel so lousy is a little boy. Perfect in every way.

I remember getting bigger. Starting to experience the symptoms of pregnancy I always thought were stereotypical. The urinating. The heartburn. The continuing moods. And as I got bigger and learnt more about my baby, I was slowly converted. Taken over. Enthralled. Enchanted. I started making the change to become the person I am today.

I didn’t want the journey to end. But, I told myself one day, the journey doesn’t end at the end of the pregnancy. It will only progress, get better. Take me places I’ve never been before, experiencing things I’ve never experienced before. Then baby was here. Baby was Caleb.

Now, four months later, looking back on the year that was, I remember each emotion I felt. Each tear. Each magical new discovery. Each fight, sadly. Each movement of my baby inside me. I remember the day Caleb was born. I will cling to that memory for ever, I will never let it go. I never want to forget that magical moment he was put on my chest and he looked at me, and I looked at him and cried.It was just magical.

Now our baby is 4 months old, getting his first tooth and becoming a person in his own right. Even if he is a little person, he’s now becoming Caleb. He’s no longer just a ‘pap klein babatjie’.

I’ve been transformed completely by the miracle God put over my life. I’ve never been so honored.

Thank you Lord.

Tourmaline

I’ve been having stomach cramps for almost a week now. They come and go. They never last, they only come to torture me a bit and then go away.

Today, the cramps are here to stay. I’m doubling over by now from them. They don’t go away. And each time one hits, along with it comes a pang of nausea. But then the nausea goes away. There is no puking. No diarrhoea. Just the horrible cramps.

Uuuuurgh… And sometimes it feelsl like there’s a lump in my stomach when I move too suddenly.

Caleb just had his first taste of rice cereal. His little face was priceless. All scrunched up as he tasted this new foreign texture entering his little mouth. So cute. But then Brother Dear asked me an important question – is the rice cereal suitable for his age? Heck, I don’t know. It’s for babies aged 6 months, Cerelac’s rice cereal. I didn’t think to look for 4 months plus. Heck, I don’t even know if they make rice cereal for 4 month olds! I know there’s a brand names Hipp, their food is suitable for 4 month olds and up, but it’s not very well-known and isn’t stocked everywhere.

Nevertheless, he had about a teaspoon’s worth tonight, but not enough to fill him up, I think. I expect that he’s going to wake up again at 2:00 for a feed, but now that I’ve mastered lying down and feeding, it’s not bad at all. He woke up this morning for his 4:30 feed and after he had his fill and unlatched, I just left him lying next to me and he just fell asleep while I cuddled his warm little body close to me.

This child is absolutely bat-shit crazy about his daddy. Sorry for the rough term but he is. He’s got a connection with Hubby that I’ve never seen before.  Hubby can make him smile, even reluctantly start to hold up his little arms to be picked up. He laughs, squawks and squeals at his Daddy and it’s such a treat listening to them when Hubby baths him. It echoes through the entire house. I love it.

Okay it feels like the cramps are tearing me apart, so I’m going to go pop some pills. Thanks for all your support about the little toothie, it’s definitely on the way out at a rapid pace. Stuck my finger inside his mouth again and the little bugger is actually sharp, it hurt!

Something tells me I’m not going to be able to breastfeed him until he’s 8 months old… If he starts using my boobs as a teething ring, I’m going to call it quits! Stretchmarks are enough, bite marks is pushing it a bit!

Have a good day tomorrow y’all!

Cheerio

Tourmaline

Caleb is cutting his first tooth!!

He was lying in his donut gnawing at my finger when I felt a sharpish edge… looked inside his mouth and there it is, the first little tooth, breaking through the surface. He’s not difficult at all right now, but the night is still young and apparently he didn’t have a nappy today yet, so we’re waiting for the bomb to hit us.

Aaaaaw my little boy is growing up too fast! Only four months old and teething! One of these days his adorable gummy grin is going to be a cute toothy one! And before I wipe my eyes he’s going to be crawling! And then walking! And talking!! And before I know it, he’s going to be 16 years old, interested in bikes and girls and wanting to get away from Mom!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! <insert lots of tears here>

We went to church this morning. Our little family. Caleb was a little angel and charmed everyone sitting around us (well, we were sitting right in the back so he was charming everyone sitting next to Hubby).

His little snotty nose is persistent. I’m giving him Rinex, it clears up the mucous but makes him sleepy.

I’ve read up a bit more about teething on Babycentre. I’ve noticed him grabbing his right ear a couple of times while chewing on his other hand a couple of times, and at first I thought he’s got an ear infection. But according to Babycentre, him grabbing his ear could be a symptom! His nappies are still persistently green and rancid, and if he’d just not clamp his jaw shut I can actually check if his gums are swollen. He sommer had three runny nappies after each other in the course of an hour, and they’re getting more slimy. He also has a bit of trouble latching on sometimes, which I’m thinking could also be the gums hurting.

Went grocery shopping after church and I bought Cerelac rice cereal, just for in case.

Liar Liar has been on MStar on DStv the past week. I watch it everytime I catch it because that was one of Jim Carrey’s best movies ever. I still laugh each and every time and actually want to go get Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls some time. It must be be such fun working on a set with him, laughs all the way. And now he’s actually bipolar. How can such a funny guy actually be depressive?

Speaking of which, we attended a service a while ago, and the pastor said that depression is a state of mind. Bull-crap. It’s very real, and it’s dangerous. I know people who suffer from depression; everyday is a constant battle to be positive, friendly, happy. But then there are  the off days of not being able to lift your head off your pillow. It’s hectic

Anyhoo, off to go wash bottles and prepare for the new week. This week my little dongle is going with me to work. Bah humbug!!

Have a good week, y’all!

Cheerio

Tourmaline

I suspect teething. There is no sign of teeth, though. But how can Caleb’s nappies change so drastically?? He had another rancid one this morning. It’s sooo bad. Hubby stood watching from a distance as I held my breath and tried my best not to look at what I was doing. Get it on my hands, the smell sticks.

So can anyone tell me…. what does a teething nappy look like? I don’t want to give you a description of what this looked like, because I fear you’ll never want to eat the thing it looked like again. But it’s completely different than what his nappies have been looking like this past month, since he started on the mix of S26 and breastmilk. His nappies were consistent, still yellow from the bilirubin and runny. This is not normal, in my book.

But the child isn’t sick. He’s happy, his old self.

I’m wondering if they’re giving him solids at school. If they are, I’m going to kill them. Okay, not really but seriously, they don’t have our permission! Jordan’s nappies look like this, and she’s on rice cereal and her mix of Isomil and breastmilk. I’m reaaaaally wondering and very suspicious!

So right now, I’m dreading the nappies. I don’t think Hubby is up to it anymore, he looked very white and nauseated when he observed this morning. I’m never going to complain again!

But it’s part of being a parent, right?

Cheerio

Tourmaline

I deeply regret wishing that Caleb’s tummy would do it’s thing and he’d poop… I’m scarred for life.

Shortly after we got home, his little tummy started rumbling. And then one by one, the farts popped out. Smelling horrendously rancid. It started to smell like garlic, to be honest. And then when I opened the nappy, I had to grit my teeth, swallow back what’s in my stomach and tackle the whole shebang. It was green for pete’s sake, and pasty… and smelled like… hell I don’t even know. The smell of it is still hanging around in the room. It’s horrible. It’s like his intestines suddenly caught up with the fact that he’s drinking a mix of S26 and breastmilk. I’m wondering what the hell they’re feeding him at school!!! This is not normal!!!

Thanks for all your support, guys, on the expressing and breastfeeding issue. I felt like such a chop today, walking to the bathroom with my little pink pouch, while half the office is sitting outside smoking. They all looked over and asked what am I doing. And their faces when I told them where I was going. But I held my head high and pulled my back straight and swung my little pink baggie cheerfully, all the way to the bathroom. I saw one of the managers raise his eyebrows when I came back, half an hour later. I just shook my head. I don’t take lunch. I split it up into two half hours and eat my lunch in my office behind my laptop.

At least Manager Lady supports me on this. She can’t understand why people are queasy either.

I will win the fight, guys. I will keep on going until everyone respects me and what I’m doing for my child.

Thanks for standing behind me. Love you all!!

Have a good weekend!

Cheerio

Tourmaline

I got an email from Nats today, about a Google doodle promoting breastfeeding. And on the website there were other links. 101 reasons why breastmilk is the best.

It’s amazing how many diseases it can prevent. It can promote your child’s IQ. It’s good for jaw muscle development, assists in speech development. The list goes on and on and on. We all know it keeps your child healthy, lesser chance for allergies, it’s for free and just the right temperature for Baby. We also know it’s good for Mommy too, to return the uterus to its normal size, to assist with weight loss.

On another website there are 58 handy uses for breastmilk. It can remove stubborn make up. It can be dripped into a baby’s ear for infection. It can open blocked little noses (that one I knew, did it with Caleb yesterday) and can also be used in their eyes (also did that one this morning).

The one that took my breath away the most was the fact that there’s some ingredient in breastmilk that instantly executes cancer cells. They’ve done studies showing that this specific component kills off cancer cells and reduces the sizes of tumours. There was an article about a guy who’s got some sort of cancer and his daughter is expressing a few ounces for him a day, which he drinks. Don’t know if I’d go that far but hey, I have tasted my milk and it’s like sweet, watery milk.

And there are studies linking it to the treatment for arthritis, acne and I think diabetes too.

So it’s official… I’m a lactivist. I joked with my SIL today that I’m going to breastfeed Caleb until he’s friggin 18, he’ll never get sick!! LOL kidding.

Caleb didn’t have a dirty nappy today. It’s been getting less and less, is there something I should worry about?? He’s not constipated; he’s not straining to poo and nothing comes out. There’s just nothing. He was pooping fairly regularly until a week ago, where his nappy suddenly became like a paste (the one that made Hubby gag) and suddenly there were no more dirty nappies during the evening or night at home. And today the lady at creche tells me “no dirty nappy today”. Any advice??

With regards to the milk at work issue, I’ve given everyone their way and I’m putting my whole little coolerbox in the fridge. Next they’re going to complain that my stuff is taking too much space in the fridge, and then I’m going to really blow my top.

I’m so tired tonight. Hubby and I lay awake talking about some stuff until I think 11:30, some stuff we need to sort out ASAP, before we lose our grips on each other completely. We’ve gotten so distracted with life and how things changed during the pregnancy that it’s how our marriage has become, and it’s not okay with me. I want my old Hubby back, and I want to be myself again. I don’t want to lose myself in my child so much that one day when he moves out of the house, there’s nothing left of my marriage.

So I’m going to go have a nice relaxing shower and put my baby to bed, and have a bit of a read before I go to sleep.

Have a good Friday y’all!

Cheerio

Tourmaline

I didn’t have  a chance to blog yesterday, so I’m blogging today.

It came to my attention yesterday that some people in the office are repulsed merely by the sight of the blue Tommy Tippee bottle containing breastmilk in the fridge at the office. It makes them squeamish, grosses them out. And I stripped my gadget once and for all. I issued a threat that if anybody touches that bottle, even moves it a centimetre in the fridge, I will lay a formal complaint against them for discrimination and theft. I don’t care if it’s unreasonable. I will not be discriminated against. Even Colleague M. She asked me to rather take my entire little coolerbox with me to the bathroom containing the bottle, so that it can just ‘look better’. I also told her straight that what I’m doing on a daily basis is nothing to be ashamed of and I will not hide it. I’m a mother and I will not be ridiculed for it. If anyone tries to give me crap about this ever again, I’m going to bring that place down on them.

How can people be so insensitive, so selfish? How can they make a person feel so ashamed, just for expressing milk that a baby needs to survive, to stay healthy? I’m going to become a bit of a bitch about this in that office, mark my words. I’m going to become an activist for breastfeeding in the office if they continue to push me. I’ll make their lives a living effing hell. Pfffft.

I’m so hungry all the time. I’m worried about my appetite. I know it’s the breastfeeding, but sheesh it’s getting rough.

Just having such a chill day today here at home with Hubby and Caleb. Thoroughly enjoying my baby so much, especially now that he’s started to develop a little personality of his own. His sleeping routine has changed the past three nights – instead of falling asleep after his after-bath feed, he’s awake until about 9:30 – 10:00. If we don’t put him down and let him cry it out, he’d stay awake until heaven knows when. Anyone know why this is?? Is this yet another sign that he might be ready for solids?? I don’t know how the two are connected but I’m just trying to figure out why he’s so perky at night all of a sudden. He sleeps his normal sleeps during the day, drinks his normal feeds as well. Nothing in his routine has changed, but suddenly he’s just Mr. Sunshine when he’s supposed to be sleeping.

Other than that, he’s a joy. We just love him so much. I can’t imagine how I lived without him before now. He’s discovered his ears too, he’s constantly pulling on them. I’ve read that pulling on their ears might mean an ear infection but he doesn’t seem sick or in pain. He had a really blocked nose this morning, the sound of him frantically trying to breathe woke me up. I was desperately trying to come up with ideas to unblock his nose when Hubby had the lightbulb thought – breastmilk! It opened his nose up in no time.

I’ve decided that I’m going to breastfeed him until September. Yeah it’s 8 months and hopefully he won’t be biting me too much, but I just want to get him through the winter without getting sick.

Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed your public holiday! Thanks for reading

Cheerio

Tourmaline