Pain and guilt… separately…

September 12, 2012 in Uncategorized

First the pain – it’s phsyical, Aunt Flow is once again upon me and while the Qlaira helps, it’s still effing sore. I’m going back to the gynae next Friday for my follow-up appointment.

Then guilt… we had to let our DG go this morning. She came in and when she saw us both she froze… and I had to break the news to her that we can’t afford her anymore. She was crestfallen but put on a brave face. While I won’t miss that she broke things that we can’t afford to have broken, I will miss her very much. She was excellent and she’s so smart. It was always a pleasure to come home on a Wednesday and the house is spotlessly clean… Now we’ll come home to chaos. I miss her already. And I feel so hectially guilty that she’s got kids too… she has to support them too! And I could immediately see the ‘what the hell am I going to do now’ expression in her eyes…

I got an email from the HR woman in Sandton yesterday afternoon informing me that my new salary will be R1000 more than I get now. And I was like WTF!! They’re expecting me to move for that??? There is no way!! I emailed her back this morning and told her very diplomatically and tactfully that it just is not good enough… they expect loyalty but they can’t be loyal to us in return. They expect us to be grateful for the crumbs they toss before us, but honestly, what the hell am I supposed to do?? We can’t afford using two cars with double the petrol on what they are offering! It’s downright impossible. And the option of taking the retrenchment package isn’t really an option either seeing as though they are determined to screw us…The packages aren’t even the same as it would be for the other people in the company… it’s like they’re showing us one big toffee; their way of thanking us for choosing not to be loyal to the company.

That’s the general vibe in the office. Every single person comes back from the Sandton office with a different story and no one knows what to believe anymore. No one knows what is fact and what is not. And our poor CFO is deadbeat from fighting all the time, fighting to protect us and being overruled. My heart goes out to the poor guy.

Anyway, got to go… work to do and all. I’m so demotivated I feel no pull to work, but ja, we must soldier on.

Oh by the way, Caleb’s nose is a bit blue and swollen but he’s okay. I got some cuddles last night so I’m sure the little guy has forgiven me. He hates purity by the way, maybe I should heat it up and then see what happens, if he’ll eat it. It’s photo day at the creche tomorrow morning too, can’t wait! Have to go dig out a nice outfit for him to wear tomorrow.





4 responses to Pain and guilt… separately…

  1. thats definitely not worth the move! Have they not taken anything into consideration? Its ridiculous how companies demand our loyalty yet refuse to actually prove that they value us. Makes me mad grrr. Im glad Caleb is ok, hope you arent feeling terrible still. I think we all go through a similar thing. We arent perfect, we’re parents and as long as they know that our love for them is unconditional thats all that matters. Ive often heard myself and inwardly cringed and felt guilty for weeks. And i keep my nails super short now because i once scratched bella very badly in the face while we were playing and everytime i looked at it i wanted to cry because it was huge and scraped. BIG HUGS!!!

  2. Have you tried Neurofen for the pain? That, and deep heat with Arnica oil usually help me. It sucks when its so painful, sommer not lus for anything.

    It is such a mission to keep everything spotless, but -m sure you will soon get the hang of it, I try to clean a room or area a day, which makes the load a lot easier on the weekend when you do actual cleaning. But I have to be honest and say that I’ve been very lazy in that department and only manage to finish my washing mostly.

    I cannot believe companies?! I mean seriously, how do they expect you to survive? This side they are contemplating not moving us again, so I am not stressing one step further about this, its ridiculous.

    Hehe, some purities are just a bit gruesome ;) Glad he gave you the deserved cuddles you needed :) Ag sweet man, you have to share the photies ;) He is getting cuter by the day :)

  3. Hope the pain is better today … period pain is sooooo unpleasant!

    When we didn’t have a DG I would just make sure the kitchen and bathrooms were clean on weekdays, and things were more or less tidy … and tackled proper cleaning of whole house on the weekend … otherwise you spend every night cleaning til some obscene hour.

    Wow! That extra bit won’t even cover your transport costs to Sandton and back for a month!!! Crazy! Hope they improve your offer ….

    Awww … can’t wait to see his pic … hope you post it! :-) And extra glad you got some cuddles, he has clearly forgiven you.

  4. Glad to hear Caleb has forgiven you, shame, bless him. L didn’t like purity either.
    Work sounds a bit sucky at the mo

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