This Is My Life

I spent 9 months baking Talia – and I think I did a pretty good job. But the baking hasn’t stopped – Now I’m sprinkling cornflour on her bum and setting her to bake in the sunshine. Poor Frog has nappy rash, and the Bepanthen, Bennets and Nystacid haven’t helped. Now we’re trying the old fashioned way. although i must admit to being dubious about the cornflour part…

My definition of sleeping through the night would be to have a good 9 hours (yes, 9) of uninterrupted sleep. Not so it seems with babies. According to the clinic we can class her as having “slept through” when she reaches 5 hours uninterrupted. 5! thats a nap, not a sleep through! At any rate, Frog picked up 340g in the last week, so clinic said we can now start letting her wake us at night. But to aim for no longer than 5 hour stretches. will i ever get a proper sleep?

 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you c an go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favourite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
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 A woman got onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, furious. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “There’s no reason why you should stay calm. You go right up there and give it back to him. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

A man calls the hospital.He says, “You have to send help immediately! A woman’s going into labor!”
The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?”
He says, “No! This is her husband!”

Things Not To Say During Childbirth….

– Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
– Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?
– I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.
– If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
– That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
– When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
– You don’t need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
– This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
– Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
– Stop your swearing and just breathe.
– Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You’re not using the right words.
– Your stomach still looks like there’s another one in there.

(Thanks Patty, I enjoyed these )

I have categorically proved that swimming in winter in Cape Town is not a great idea. The water is cold (ok, flipping freezing), its raining, and our swimming pool is a charming green colour so you’re not too sure what is lurking beneath the surface. And theres a crocodile head that floats around looking particularily menacing in the murky waters.  So any normal, sane person would not venture into the pool. Unfortunately I didn’t really have a choice. My two german shepards had been playing around the pool when the female fell in. And couldn’t get out. And no matter what I did to coax her to the stairs, she just clung onto the side with her two front paws for dear life. So I stripped, waded in and (cursing nicely) guided her to the stairs. What worries me is if I hadn’t been there to hear the splash…

On another note, I am feeling particularily unskilled at this whole parenting thing. Talia cried all of yesterday until I joined in late in the afternoon (and her father returned from a marathon shopping spree that had him out the whole day). Didn’t know if it was the nappy rash (nothing seems to be helping here), the casts, wind (still debating the chiropractor – had an appointment then cancelled it), or just that babies sometimes need to cry…

Talia had her forth set of casts put on today – where have the last 3 weeks gone to? Her left foot can be manipulated past neutral, but is apparently quite tight at this point. She also has a severe “crease” between ankle and heel - making her clubfoot a “1″ (where 0 is a normal foot, 0.5 is a mild clubfoot and 1 a severe case). Her right foot is still tighter than her left and still has the horrid looking sore, although I think the sore may be getting better. At least today I didn’t cry when I saw it.

The dr mentioned again that he will be going away for 2 weeks in the middle of her treatment. Which means that she will have to be in casts for a few weeks longer than anticipated. We’ll be seeing someone else who will cast her feet, but we have to wait for him to return before we can do the achilles tendon op. We’re not happy about this, but what can we do?

On a financial note, each visit costs about R1 500 a visit. ow. But her resting position is already greatly improved. Its all worth it in the end.

Note for next time: Must take dummy with us – she screamed during the casting today.

Gotto love digital cameras, this must be the most photo’d baby in Stellenbosch. Why do they make 0-3 month clothes so big?

We’re demand feeding. Which is fine, except that Talia currently demands a feed every 2 hours. And each feed takes about 30minutes.  Which means that I have about an hour and a half to two hours inbetween where the boob juice bar is not open for service. And the boob juice bar is starting to feel the effect of the continuous feeding. At least the proprietor / bar maid / chef of the bar is feeling it. Still, she did gain 300g in the last week (the baby, not the owner of the boob bar. The owner’s lost about 10kg in 2 weeks, best weight loss I’ve ever had) – so I can’t complain, can I? Clinic says we need to carry on with this for another week and then we can start a process of getting her feeds spread a bit further. It’s quite a challenge – I can’t even leave the house without ensuring that we’re back in time, or somewhere where we can feed. It gets better, doesn’t it? keep telling myself that she did gain 300g…

On that note we’ve been singing to ourselves:
Under the boob bar
Down by the sea
Under the boob bar
You’ll be waiting for me
Under the boob bar, boob bar

(I’d tell you the tune if I knew it…)

“People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.” Leo J. Burke

Diaper backwards spells repaid. Think about it – Marshall McLuhan

“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” Ed Asner

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” Milton Berle

“Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.” Marcelene Cox

I was always under the impression that when changing the nappy of little boys, one needed to be careful of getting a stream in your face, but not so with girls. Well, time to change that impression – Talia managed to get a stream going at about an angle of 70degrees. Hubby got the full brunt of it. Giggle.