This is what I don’t get
March 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
Saturday afternoon spent with some of the moms from our group. Can’t go into it here. Conditions that some people live in, and the emotional suffering that so many people in the world endure, is enough to make you want to run and hide. Also – people such as me (who have no other choice but to call themselves atheist, because “Other” doesn’t cut it) – are capable of quite a stern and vigorous lecture in the Biblical principles of doing unto others as you’d have etc, when called upon to do so. My jaw still hurts from talking.
Then. Son goes to party at fancy ginormous house on Saturday night. I give him the usual drinking drugs etc lecture. Goes like this:
Me: “Son?”
Him: “Hmmm?”
Me: “The Lecture.”
Him: “Right, yes. Consider it given”
Me: “Right, good then”
Off he goes. Regular tweets as to the progress of the evening keep us updated and entertained.
Home time at midnight. Check vigorously yet discreetly for signs of disrepair. None visible.
Proceeds to regale us with lurid details of kerfuffeling (other people), dope smoking (around the corner also other people) and bottles of gin delivered by the Dial-a-Dop man. Latter half of evening spent in bathroom holding a lovely classmate’s hair while she puked her brains out, and spotting faces in the puddles of badly-aimed wee on the floor. This by a boy who can’t even dispose of dog poop without gagging.
Apparently he was one of only 3 who weren’t legless.
And all of this while the party-givers parents were there in the house.
Now. Here’s the thing, see. Me, I’m not stupid. I know that such things go on, and for a bunch of 16 year olds to have a party where such things didn’t go on at all would be… unlikely…. at best.
So it’s to be expected, to some degree. That’s not to say that if I’d found any signs of disrepair in my offspring upon his return, there wouldn’t have been hellfire and brimstone rained down upon hisg hapless head. There would have been. Even though I know that such a thing is probably inevitable eventually, it’s still not okay.
So right, I get that whole shebang.
What I DON’T get, see, is the concept of the parent being in the house while her child and children of other people who she is therefore responsible for do things that are still, at their age, not legal, never mind entirely ill-advised and unhealthy and also, by the way, rather fucking dangerous.
I don’t get how all of that was okay for them to know it was happening and just let it go on.
I just don’t understand.
Is it me?
Am I crazy?
youunlimited said on March 1, 2011
I don’t get that either. We grew up from when I can remember with a sherry glass of wine or sherry at Sunday lunch if we wanted it. It was a done thing but never something offered to visiting friends.
One has to wonder if these parents simply feel that if their kids are going to drink anyway, rather have it at home? Personally I feel that way about underage drinking. I’d rather Tash did it where I could monitor her. Still, don’t think it’s fair to other parent’s values to allow it without clearing it with them first.
ajhart said on March 2, 2011
no, it’s not just you – I hink you have to have brass ones to host a teen party because you’ll have to have eyes in the back of your head, and use them.
My daughter was like your son – after such a party I got an hysterical phonecall that the host parents had rushed daughter’s close friend to Constantiaberg – they’d found her convulsing outside the house on the sidewalk! She ended up in ICU for 2 hours – massive alcohol poisoning wih various other substances thrown in for fun. As they say: “it’s all laughs and giggles until someone loses an eye…”
Think we should go all US on them and sue
parent24ed said on March 2, 2011
It is simply not right.
SuritaBotha said on March 2, 2011
Listening to this I think I’ll have to lock Zoe up in a dungeon until she is 25!
FoxieRox said on March 2, 2011
On one hand I am shocked, on the other I do remember going to parties like that – to some parents it seems to be acceptable! Yikes.
shazdart said on March 2, 2011
I think that the general lack of parental supervision and, lets be honest, care and attention that exists in the kids lives these days is part of the reason that they run to Twitter, Mxit, FB and all the other “exciting” things available.
Don’t get me started on this subject, I am appalled at the “parental” situation in so many homes today, it is too easy for them to give the kids R500 and send them to the mall for the day. Bloody idiots, no wonder we have such a problem with drugs and such things.
I am going to stop now before I do myself some damage. xx
bothajs said on March 2, 2011
Maybe the host parents didn’t know?
Bwhahahaha! Now THAT sounded stupid even to my own ears. Its a simple case of WE DON’T CARE, as long as the child in question is not bothering us, the parents, everything goes.
tania.roux said on March 2, 2011
Wrong. Very, very wrong.
rebeccav said on March 2, 2011
I agree it’s so wrong. I’d be mortified if my child went to a party where the parents are present and these things went on. I suppose the host teen would be absolutely horrified if the parents came and ‘policed’ the party! I’m guessing if it wasn’t at someone’s home, the teens would have found an alternative venue. I did it when I was younger, and ended up grounded for 99% of my matric year. But back in the dinosaur age, we didn’t have such a drug issue, it was all about the alcohol.
Good for you raising a boy with some common sense! Don’t see a lot of that these days! You and him deserve medals
chezchilds said on April 8, 2011
As an ex-teen who went to parties like that (although I don’t remember the parents being around … maybe they were hiding), and as a mom who has that situation to look forward to, I have mixed feelings about this. I hope that my child won’t put me in that position when he’s older (or maybe I should say his friends won’t), but I also don’t want to stifle him and forbid him from ever leaving the house or getting into a tiny bit of trouble. I guess I’m just hoping that he will grow up to be like me (not his dad – he was a maniac in his youth!) and do everything in moderation …